you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
