Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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