what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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