Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The air was thick with penises
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
