i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I party with great urgency now.
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