Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize