Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
