the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
