the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
