and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
