In the future we'll all be gay
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My feet surprised me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
