when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
