butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize