bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
