Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
