They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
