Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
