Sponge bath it is.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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