Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She's the barista slut.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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