I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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