i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
