Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize