we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want to make out with him forever
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
