Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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