somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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