so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
