Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.

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(409): View more from Texas

i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.

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(360): View more from Washington

I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?

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(916): View more from California

I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake

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(318): View more from Louisiana

with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday

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(772): View more from Florida

I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.

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