can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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