I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
