i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
