Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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