when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
