Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
