is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
