So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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