East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
