I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
