Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
