Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
