come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
