Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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