i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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