so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
