But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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