One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
