Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
