We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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