is your mom at the bar?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
