he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
