Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
