Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
