I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize