Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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