I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
babies were throwing up all over the place
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
