Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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