literally had 100 drinks last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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