New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
