My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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