eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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