i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize