I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
