question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
