I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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