i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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