we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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