will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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