its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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